Though the dark clouds have moved in, it's possible to get over break up. Depending on whether the discussion is about a very young hearted "love at first site" or a two decade marriage, techniques will vary circumstances will vary slightly. But take that mirror every morning and reassure that face, it's probably you, that you are a valuable person, that the break-up does not diminish your value.
Who began the break up? If you chose the action keep your reasons in mind so that loneliness does not send you back. If the other person walked out then decide to skip the self-recriminations: "If only I had done this, or that, if only..." That has past and it's not coming around again. Flip up the calendar page and move forward.
"Get Over it" can be said more kindly. Maybe, "Just give it some time." or "Just working through." are better descriptions. Choose to be good to yourself. Dealing with all changes, good or not take time. Death and ending of relationships are two big ones. But changing a job or a home also high on the list of stressful.
There's nothing to be gained by pretending this ending didn't happen. Give yourself a mope day. Sit around weeping or moping, or having long naps. Maybe eat a little too much of your comfort food. Getting drunk is not helpful. The next day, though, phone up someone to meet for a long walk, a latte, a racquetball game or a non-romantic movie.
If the break up is from a short term relationship that happened after a first date at school or someone from a dating line you saw a few times use that short term commitment to ask whether there might be any similarity between that relationship and any other unsuccessful attempts. This action isn't unproductive re-living, it's analyzing the action between the two of you. Is One person coming on too strong, one too shy of commitment? Do both of you having radically different interests or philosophies? You or the other truly less flexible on any important terms? Make lists. You may have a moment of eureka.
When a long term marriage ends there's a significant lifestyle change. These relationships don't end overnight, there's been at least months but probably years of deterioration. Both parties may have suffered a certain amount of damage to a sense of self-esteem or worthiness. The situation is much worse when a third party is involved. Add in non-adult children and the sum is complicated indeed.
Yes, the situation lacks hopefulness. The days have more questions than answers. But survivors make it. You've made it so far and will get over break up.
Who began the break up? If you chose the action keep your reasons in mind so that loneliness does not send you back. If the other person walked out then decide to skip the self-recriminations: "If only I had done this, or that, if only..." That has past and it's not coming around again. Flip up the calendar page and move forward.
"Get Over it" can be said more kindly. Maybe, "Just give it some time." or "Just working through." are better descriptions. Choose to be good to yourself. Dealing with all changes, good or not take time. Death and ending of relationships are two big ones. But changing a job or a home also high on the list of stressful.
There's nothing to be gained by pretending this ending didn't happen. Give yourself a mope day. Sit around weeping or moping, or having long naps. Maybe eat a little too much of your comfort food. Getting drunk is not helpful. The next day, though, phone up someone to meet for a long walk, a latte, a racquetball game or a non-romantic movie.
If the break up is from a short term relationship that happened after a first date at school or someone from a dating line you saw a few times use that short term commitment to ask whether there might be any similarity between that relationship and any other unsuccessful attempts. This action isn't unproductive re-living, it's analyzing the action between the two of you. Is One person coming on too strong, one too shy of commitment? Do both of you having radically different interests or philosophies? You or the other truly less flexible on any important terms? Make lists. You may have a moment of eureka.
When a long term marriage ends there's a significant lifestyle change. These relationships don't end overnight, there's been at least months but probably years of deterioration. Both parties may have suffered a certain amount of damage to a sense of self-esteem or worthiness. The situation is much worse when a third party is involved. Add in non-adult children and the sum is complicated indeed.
Yes, the situation lacks hopefulness. The days have more questions than answers. But survivors make it. You've made it so far and will get over break up.
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Want to find out more How to handle a break-up tips, then visit Pete Diwali's site Get over a breakup.
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